“God made me gay” is a common justification for engaging in gay sex. After all, if God didn’t approve of gay sex, “it would be like creating a bird with wings and telling it not to fly.” It’s a variation of the “The devil made me do it” argument. Both arguments assume that we cannot choose our behavior.
Let’s take this argument apart just a little and examine the first premise — “God made me gay.” 1
Causes of Homosexuality
As a matter of fact, we still don’t know all the contributing factors to a homosexual orientation. We do know that most gay people didn’t choose to be homosexually oriented, contrary to what many conservative Christians seem to think. There also seems to be significant evidence for a biological link to homosexuality, even though it’s almost sure that a “gay gene” will never be found. (Sexuality is a far too complex human behavior cluster to be determined by one gene. It is likely that when all the results are in, it will be found that, as in all other behaviors and habits, biology accounts for roughly 50% and environmental factors for roughly another 50% of sexual orientation.) The very studies that are cited in favor of the gay gene theory actually disprove the theory, because only 52% of identical twins of gay men also had a homosexual orientation. (Since identical twins have the same chromosomes and genes, a genetically determined trait should show 100% concordance.) However, the studies do indicate some kind of biological link.
Evidently factors in the womb also affect the developing fetus. One of these is a hormonal wash that masculinizes the male brain and occurs between the 16th and 24th weeks of pregnancy. When, because of trauma in the mother’s life, this hormonal wash does not occur or is of insufficient quantity to fully masculinize the brain of the developing fetus, the male baby is born with a brain that essentially functions like a female brain. (That’s probably why women find gay men so understanding and attractive.) While this will not make a person gay, it can be a contributing factor for a child who does not emotionally bond with his father but does bond closely with his mother. And that is probably why orientation change ministries under the Exodus umbrella often teach that homosexuality is caused by a poor father bond and over-mothering. (There is some truth to every fallacy.) Perhaps, for some, these two factors are all that’s needed to develop a homosexual orientation. I know of enough gay people with stories of both sexual and other abuse in their backgrounds to surmise that that is probably another contributing factor for some, and if it comes on top of a couple of other factors, a homosexual orientation is almost a given.
So did God ordain that mothers be traumatized so that their male children would not have a fully masculinized brain? Did God ordain conditions that would prevent emotional bonding with fathers? Did God ordain sexual and other abuse?
I think not!
If Jesus were here today
While God walked this earth in human flesh as Jesus Christ, He made clear that He identifies with those who suffer because of the ravages of sin in this world. He healed the sick, the lame, the blind, the lepers. He taught that their conditions were not necessarily the result of their personal choices. And if Jesus walked this earth today, He would identify with the gay people of the world, not condemning them, but drawing them to Himself, just like He drew the outcasts of society two thousand years ago.
We live on a planet that demonstrates the effects of sin – not necessarily particular sins, but sin in general. The Apostle Paul tells us that the “whole creation groans together” under the curse of sin, waiting for the deliverance that comes when Christ returns to this planet again. And a homosexual orientation is just one of the many and varied effects of sin on this planet. That does not mean that homosexually oriented persons are any more sinful than heterosexually oriented persons. It just means that their road in life is more difficult in some respects than that of a heterosexually oriented person in otherwise similar circumstances. And with more difficulty comes more grace. As the old song says,
He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater.
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase.
To added affliction He addeth His mercy;
To multiplied trials, His multiplies peace.When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.His love has no limit; His grace has no measure
His power has no boundary known unto man.
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus,
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again!
— by Annie Johnson Flint
(in Love Songs for all God’s Children. Kansas City: Lillenas Publishing Co., 1975)
A logical fallacy
To see the fallacy in the God-made-me-gay argument, let’s try inserting some other variables into the argument: The person predisposed to alcoholism could, with the same logic, say, “God made me an alcoholic; therefore He wants me to get drunk.” The person predisposed to gain weight could just as logically say, “God made me to be fat; therefore I should eat as much as I can – especially cake.” The person predisposed towards infidelity in marriage could say, “God made me promiscuous, and He wants me to have as much sex as I can get.”
You get the picture …
Now let’s examine the argument of the bird’s wings – that if God didn’t expect a bird to fly, He wouldn’t have given it wings, and if He didn’t expect a gay person to indulge His sexual desires, He wouldn’t have given Him the desire and ability to have sex.
Does “nature” make it right?
On other subjects, most people see fairly clearly that having the ability to do something is not equivalent to a moral right to do it. Just because I’m stronger than my neighbor, does not mean that I have the right to take from him the things that I want. God expects me to discipline my thoughts and desires to harmonize with His will.
If I’m a diabetic with a craving for sweets, I’m asking for certain disaster to indulge my craving. I may argue that God wouldn’t have given me a craving for sweets if he didn’t expect me to indulge it, but the natural law of my body would soon expose the fallacy of the argument.
Most societies recognize that sexual maturity, which comes at puberty, does not automatically come with the right to engage in sexual acts. Societies with moral values have recognized the necessity to discipline the sex drive in order to channel it in the right direction, which is recognized as the marriage relationship between husband and wife.
Christians who accept the Bible as the Word of God understand that God invented sex, and He gave it to humanity made in His image for the specific purpose of participating in the creative process through the act of sexual intercourse. And He said that through this act, man and woman would become “one flesh” – a statement that medical science has demonstrated to be more than a figure of speech.
God loves gay people
No, God does not hate homosexuals. He loves gay people, and I believe He identifies with them particularly in the same manner as He identifies with children, widows, and orphans – those who have a more difficult time than others on this planet. He freely offers His grace to all gay people who seek it in order to submit their lives to His will. He will guide them into the right choices, and those choices are much more varied and broad than either the conservative Christian world or the gay world would have us believe. (See “I’m a Gay Christian — So What Are My Options?”)
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- First published on the GLOW site in 2000, revised 2010. You may copy this essay, providing you give credit to the author and a link back to this blog entry. ↩
I appreciate what you’re trying to say here, especially the section about the way in which Jesus would treat those that are often marginalized or misunderstood in the church if he were here today. We can learn much from his example of unconditional love and acceptance of those who need it most.
I’m not sure that I completely agree with you on the examples you provide at the end of your piece. Comparing somebody’s need for companionship and intimacy to their need for cake strikes me as insensitive to the complexity of humanity sexuality. The people who I’ve met who say something along the lines of “God-made-me-gay” are usually arguing that even after countless attempts at changing their orientation through heart-wrenching prayer, counseling, ex-gay ministries, or whatever means were at their disposal, most have come back to the place where they’ve started and have had to accept that they are gay — and that God does not want them to be alone. This is not an easy excuse, but a realization that God loves them as they are and desires happiness for them. This is an individual and highly personal experience based on the individual’s personal relationship with God.
The other examples you provide, alcoholism and adultery, are also complicated, but they both involve harming or hurting someone else in the process. They tend towards selfishness at the expense of someone else, usually a spouse or family member. I think like all sin, redemption is possible, but we are comparing apples and oranges, and so the logic breaks down for me.
When is love a sin? I’ve love to hear your thoughts on this aspect of the issue.
Thanks,
Stephen Eyer
Thank you for your comment, Stephen. It seems I did not make myself clear, and I’ll try to clarify a bit.
I’m familiar with “countless attempts at changing their orientation through heart-wrenching prayer, counseling, ex-gay ministries, or whatever means were at their disposal.” That background led to the
focus of the GLOW ministry – a focus on God’s love for gay people, rather than on the need to change to heterosexuality. At the time (1997), only two solutions were offered to gay people – either to attempt to change to heterosexuality or to accept one’s homosexual orientation and attempt to find intimacy in gay relationships.
I believed then and believe now that neither of those options are biblically sound.
I would not think of comparing a need for intimacy with a “need” for cake. To tell the truth, I cannot think of an exact parallel to a homosexual orientation. Any parallel we might attempt to draw will fall short. But that’s also true of some other less-than-perfect human conditions.
In this post, I tried to address some arguments used to justify gay sexual relationships. There may be some arguments, but I believe that the ones I addressed here are not among them.
Firstly, I tried to demonstrate that the “God made me gay” argument is not logically sound. We know some factors that contribute to homosexuality, and they have nothing to do with God’s “making” anything or anybody. We live in a world that is far from the perfection God designed, and bad things happen to good people without God making it happen.
In the argument you foreshortened to the point of absurdity, I attempted to demonstrate that our natural inclinations do not necessarily provide a good template for good behavior – either on a
practical level or a moral level. Thus the cake addict example.
While intimacy is sometimes used as a euphemism for sex, the two are not the same.It is possible to have intimacy without sex, and it is possible to have sex without intimacy.
The Bible only addresses homosexual sex, not intimacy.
As for your question, “When is love a sin?”
Genuine self-renouncing love is at the very heart of the character of God. This love is always in harmony with His character and all His commandments. This love can never “be a sin” because it never transgresses God’s Law but is the very foundation of His Law.
On the other hand, “A Friend” suggests, “People mix up ‘love’ and sex all the time…” Read more at the GayAdventist blog.
Maybe God does want them to be alone. I know singleness is hard to accept. I will be 37 in a couple months and have never had a romantic interest. I hate it, but beneath all my bitterness, I realize that life is short, and the purpose of our lives is to serve the Lord, not to gratify our flesh (even if “flesh” in this instance is a legitimate desire for companionship).
I’ve caught “Hell” through out my entire life because I’m gay. Some of the pain was internal while most was external. Most Christians condemn gay people because their sexual inclination. My sexual inclination is beyond my control. I attempted to be straight, but failed, over and over again. I refuse to condemn myself any longer. I love myself just as God loves me. I will not allow anyone to define me because God has already done that, and He makes no mistakes. “I am that I am”
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I feel the same . God made us who we are and loves us. I have my daughter get on me if it and used the bible to hurt me . I see kids gay all the time. Doesn’t mean they are sinners
Brandon, thanks so much for your comments, particularly on the thoughts re love and sex. It seems like the terms are so mixed up together that a lot of people don’t stop to think that they are not one and the same.
May God continue to bless you as you seek to honor God with all of your being, including your body. 🙂
Thank you for your comment, AJ. I apprecciate your blog, Wandering Thoughts of a Broken Man.” The Psalm writer tells us that “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” (Psalm 51:17)
The reality is that we are all “broken.” The difference is that some don’t realize it, and Christ can only save those who realize they are “broken” and need fixing. I’ve sometimes wondered whether many will be saved because of their homosexual orientation/ same-sex attraction. This acutely experienced “difference” often leads to real wrestling with God and may be the only way really gifted people will recognize that they are, indeed, “broken” and need healing/saving. But the problem from which we need to be healed, is not primarily specific external symptoms, but the inner root of sin – the self-centeredness that is so foreign to the self-sacrificing character of God. But I’d better stop before this comment runs to post-length. 😉
good day..in the name of allah,most gracious and the most beautiful..
regarding the articles above,i as a muslim strongly believe that god never create homosexual orientation..
just wanna share my experience,i have a friend..he reclaim that he is gay..ask ask him,how come you be like this…and he said that he was induced by his friends in boarding school…he also added that,previously he never had attraction toward boy…environment is one of the factor that induce someone to be a gay..
Thank you for your comment.
Regarding God’s creation, I believe that God’s creation is totally good. Yet we have babies born that are defective in some ways — perhaps blind or even missing an arm — because of the consequences of sin on this planet. It may be the parents’ fault who innocently took a drug that produced the defect. Or it may just be the general degeneracy of our race due to sin — with no particular fault of the parents.
So none of us are born as perfect as God originally created mankind. That means that some of us are born with a very strong inclination to do things that are not right. Scientists can even detect differences in the brains of some homosexually oriented persons, for instance.
However, you are correct that environment is one of the factors that contribute to a person being gay. Sometimes environment and individual choice contribute strongly. Other times, there seems to be no choice involved at all.
It is different for each person.
I believe that we should give each person the benefit of the doubt and assume that they did not choose to be attracted to their own sex.
What do you think?
Omg this is exactly what I have been looking for. For years I’ve felt like I didn’t belong in this world. Like something was wrong with me. I am gay, but not out. Too afraid of how the world will judge me and its not even my fault. Trust me if I had a choice I would not be gay. Just that fact that people hate you for being gay, and they dont even know who you are. Not Even giving a chance to know you as a person. I’m afraid to go to church because I feel like I am hated by religious groups, and afraid how they way they would react to a gay. I have some christian friends who have said that all gays go to hell!!! I’m am really good friends with them and no they don’t know that I’m gay. What if they did? Would they hate me? Would we still be friends? Im very quite and shy, afraid if i spoke my mind people would know that im gay.I always asked god, “why am I gay?” I was upset
at god and turned my back on him. “Why make me suffer my entire life god?” If god created everyone on this earth and some people are born gay; like myself. does that mean that god also created gays? I have lost faith in god because of the people who serve him everyday are the ones saying that something is wrong with me. I sometime think about how life would be so much better if i was straight. The thought of never being able to start a family. Never going to experience the feeling of being a father. Because what woman would want a gay husband? some people will never know what it is like living as a gay person. Imagine having to live life not being able to love who you love. In doing so would be a wrong to society. After reading this I feel a lot better about myself. What ever god has planed for me, I just hope it’s for the best. Just so tired of not being myself.
I am gay and when I even get tempted by unbelievers. I feel hopeless and sad. I feel God made me me.
All of this subjective rhetoric of what we think “God wants” is absolutely absurd. I was and still am a deeply spiritual person. I used to be a Bible believing Christian but I can now only take the Bible for what it is: historic works of literature written by man (who is “flawed” ) comprised in one book used to make subjective condemnations on other people. I will agree that the Bible does provide some insights on how to live a more abundant life, especially in Jesus’ parables. But I believe the Old Testament to be a bunch of corrupt texts written by Jewish leaders meant to control people out of fear, at the time it was written.
How can you quote psalms as a legitimate objective text for what “God wants?” It is poetry! Ever read the psalm of solomon?
Anyways, homosexual people hold such a special place in my heart because they are told that who they are intrinsically, is wrong and flawed by the very being that they are also told created them in His image. I am not admitting the human race to be perfect by a long shot, but this constant rhetoric that people with same sex attraction are flawed in their sexuality and that they need a savior to save them from it is the very definition of ludicrous and this is why: the legalistic law of the religion of Christianity says that homosexuality, namely homosexual acts, are pure sin. So the people who don’t chose to be attracted to the same sex, but are, are put in a position to feel terrible about themselves because of their hopeless state and the only thing that will save them from their despair is more of the ideology that put gave them that despair in the first place.
Homosexuality is special because it is unlike any other “sin.” Yes the Bible is a good tool to make someone a better person, granted they can change the behavior which is “sin.” I can choose to steal or murder but I cannot choose who my eye lusts after. Just because homosexuality doesn’t follow the “natural oder” we all think God intended then every Christian that takes prescription drugs is a hypocrite! If we allow the natural order to tell us what God wants, then we should not be taking medication to alter God’s plan for our lives. I could go on and on. Legalistic religion is nothing more than the projection of a culture made to control people out driven by fear of uncertainty. I believe Jesus was real and I believe He probably hated religion. If we honored His golden rule and rules that create positive energies and promote the welfare of each other, we will be doing God’s ultimate will. Not picking apart each others’ choices. If someone makes a choice that is not in accord with promoting others in a loving sense, then we can realize it’s not a good choice to make, granted we are open to self reflection. We don’t need to go around degrading each other because we think everyone who does this or that is going to hell! Sorry for the scatterbrainedness just a lot that needs to be said about all of this. Oh and by the way, if Romans says homosexuality is a sin and Christians believe that, then all women should have their heads covered and be silent in church. hmmm
Logan says (quote)”I used to be a Bible believing Christian but I can now only take the Bible for what it is: historic works of literature written by man (who is “flawed” ) comprised in one book used to make subjective condemnations on other people.”
If the Bible of the Christian faith were merely historic works of literature written by man, how is it that all 66 books of the Bible come together so well? A study of prophecies made, that are recorded in the Old Testament, and the fulfillment of each one, in the New Testament, is an eye-opener. Isaiah 7:14 is a prophecy of the Promised Messiah, fulfilled in the birth of Jesus.
If the Bible was merely the work of fallible human beings, the authors would not have included the failures and shortcomings of its “main characters”. Why would we need to be told about King David’s affair with Bathsheba? Why would we need to read ALL of the book of Jonah? (There’s MUCH MUCH more to Jonah than his being swallowed by a great fish [not necessarily a whale]). Women were property, back then. MALE writers would not have included the fact that a WOMAN was a judge (Deborah, in Judges) over Israel. She even led MEN into BATTLE. MALE writers would certainly not have told anyone that the MALE disciples hid in a house, after Jesus was crucified, and that not only was it a WOMAN, but a woman who had been a PROSTITUTE before her encounter with Jesus, who was THE FIRST PERSON to be ORDAINED and COMMISSIONED – by JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF – to go proclaim the GOOD NEWS that Jesus was alive and had risen from the dead.
The Bible is meant to be respected. It is not meant to be worshipped. It exists to point people to God. If one tries to make sense of it, on one’s own abilities and understanding, one will fall terribly short. One must have the Holy Spirit’s help in understanding the Bible. If Jesus was all about us loving each other, and how to have a better life, in the “here and now”, why, then, did He make a whip, and USE IT to singlehandedly clear the Temple of unscrupulous money changers?
If the Bible was what Logan said it was, then the last book of the Bible – Revelation – would not tell us that unrepentant people – those who have not acknowledged that they are what the Bible says they are – sinners – and that they are lost, and without Jesus Christ, they would be condemened to Hell (Revelation 20:15).
One must completely abandon the idea that following the 10 Commandments, and doing more good things than bad, is what makes God happy and gets one into Heaven. Forget about whether homosexuality is or is not a sin. What is known as the 10 Commandments are, in reality, only the TOP 10 of SIX HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN. That’s what Jewish scholars whom I’ve studied, and my college professors, have said. Even if one could perfectly follow each and every commandment, from this point on, one would still not be approved by God. Why? Because there is still the matter of one’s PAST. I have broken every one of the “top 10” commandments except for the one that forbids murder. If merely being tempted to do so is a sin, then I’m guilty in that area, too. Some people are still alive simply because jail time is not on my list of things I’d like to do. Others probably feel that way about me.
My involvement in homosexuality brought me nothing but guilt, grief, and
frustration. I have never believed I was born this way. I don’t believe people are. No, God would NOT “hardwire” people to be homosexual, and then forbid them to enjoy the very thing He designed them to do. Nor do I believe people deliberately choose homosexuality as a lifestyle. My father was an abusive alcoholic. I thought he hated me. He had a “drill sergeant” mentality. But I still wanted his approval. I tried to do what he said to do, and what I thought would make him happy. To a child, however, perception is reality. My dad’s hateful (to me) tone of voice, coupled with him calling me “stupid”, was harmful to my self-esteem. In my teens, I gave up trying to please him. When I was 15, my dad was in a terrible auto accident, as a result of driving drunk. He walked away with a cut on his forehead. I was so mad at God that I raised my fist to the sky and gave Him a “middle-finger salute”. But God looks on our hearts! Not only that, but God is merciful and gracious; slow to anger and aboutding in lovingkindness and tender mercies (Exodus 34:6). I made my profession of faith in Christ, around this time. I didn’t see any point in life. I didn’t understand why I had to have the dad I did. At school, I occasionally heard other guys talk (with satisfaction) about things they had done with their dads. I was jealous. But I was afraid of what would happen to me if I died. I knew that I had done a lot of things that God didn’t like. I know now that the Holy Spirit was working in me. I asked Jesus to do in me, that which only He can do.
My life did NOT instantly become filled with happiness and joy.
I had given up trying to please my dad, and have a healthy father-son relationship with him. But I still wanted the love of a father-figure. I knew I wouldn’t find it at home, so I went looking for it. I looked for men old enough to be my father. I didn’t want the physical sex part, but I thought that homosexuality was the only way I would ever know the love of a father. I haven’t the slightest idea how many one-night stands I had, looking for a dad. Having been raised in a family that went to church almost every Sunday, and having learned early on that one must put on a good front, and not talk about what happens at home when there aren’t any guests, I was extremely unhappy. I thought being married to a woman would cure me (it doesn’t), so I married when I was 22. (We’re still married.)(she knows.) In December of 2003, I had had enough of the way I was living. I prayed, and asked God to do SOMETHING – ANYTHING – in my life, RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT, or I was going to kill myself. I didn’t want to die, but I had decided that I wasn’t going to go on living as I had been. The Holy Spirit filled me. I cannot explain what happened. But I KNOW God answered me.
If the Bible is just a book, written by fallible men, it wouldn’t point to Jesus. It wouldn’t tell us that we are incapable of having the peace and the abundant life that only God can give, through Jesus Christ. It wouldn’t tell us to seek to be “born again” and to be filled with the Holy Spirit. It wouldn’t tell us that the ultimate source of evil is a real being. It wouldn’t tell us that there is another existence after this life is over. It would tell us that all we have to do is be good and love everyone, and God will smile.
It would be just another self-help manual.
i am a straight good honest man that just had to make a comment here, and i was married at one time before my wife had cheated on me with another woman. i was married for almost fifteen years, and i was a very loving and caring husband that was very committed to her as well. nowadays we certainly do have much more gay people in the world now than we ever had before, especially the LESBIANS. having my wife leaving me for another woman was very much disturbing to me, and i was very happy with my life thinking that i was going to have a family too. well that certainly never happened. and now that i am in my late fifties, i hate going out as it is trying to meet a good woman again since they are so very nasty to talk too. i do have to say that i certainly have bad luck with women, since they have become so very hard to start a normal conversation with the one that i would really like to meet. many times i do get cursed at, and i did absolutely nothing wrong to cause this to happen to me. i am just a good innocent man trying to meet a good woman again to share my life with. now that is not to much to ask for, don’t you think? i would say no. it it just very sad that there are so much more GAY women now, which is certainly creating the problem now when there are so many of us serious men looking for love like i have mentioned before. i do feel as if God is really punishing me, and i do not even know why. it is like he wants me to be alone and have no one, which is not fair at all. my aunt and uncle will be married for 65 years, and it was really meant to be for them when they met in school back then. i certainly wish that i myself had been born much sooner, then i would had avoided this mess too. the times back then were certainly much different than today, and it was much easier meeting one another back then. for many of you that are gay, i do wish the best for you. for me, i will just go out and hope for the best. PEACE.
I love this article so much and its content.. But we should understand that no one choosed to be gay and yet they get attracted to their same sex.. A friend of mine told me that he fought with his whole being to stop dis but after a while he still begins to admire his fellow men asked him how dis came to be he told me that he likes to do anything he hears. That when he was in the baording they were warned against it and from that day onward he began to have the urge to try that thing they were warned against..and when he tried it he hated himself but after a while whenever he sees that partner of his he began to feel like to have more of it so even with so many prayers he still cant resist it..he is really suffering trying so hard to curtail it but i think dis article of urz will really help but not for so long so if there any other tin u can do or say please make it quick….tnkz