Have you ever felt like the most ugly and disgusting creature in the world? That's the way I feel now. And why is that when you want to change and things are really starting to go well, Satan will give you "a surprise"? 

Johnnie replied:

Be proud of your efforts, young man. If you weren't making progress of some sort, Satan wouldn't be attacking you the way he is. God loves you, and through your experience and relationship with Him, I am positive that you will be a blessing to those that you minister to. Just a nugget for you "Change, real change takes place slowly -- in first gear, not overdrive. Far too many Christians get discouraged and give up. Breaking habit patterns you established during the passing of years cannot occur in a few brief days. Remember that instant change is as rare as it is phony. 

Chin up, guy, God loves you and so do we. With God and this group we're all gonna make it. 

Hugs, 
Johnnie