Many gay Christian men wonder whether they should come out of the closet or continue to quietly hide behind the mask and appear like everyone else.
What if they knew? Would they accept me? Would I still have friends? I’m tired of hiding this part of who I really am. Wearing this mask is driving me crazy.
Almost everyone wears a mask of some kind; those that don’t can be a real pain.
A few months ago another two couples joined us for dinner. The older couple were definitely old school. They appeared stern and unbending. The younger couple seemed to accept both the good and the bad that life had offered them over the years.
Since gay marriages was such a hotly debated topic at the time it was no surprise that it entered the dinner conversation. I asked the guests, “If someone from the church told you that they were gay, would it make any difference to your feelings about them?”
The replies surprised me. The older dyed-in-the wool guy spoke first. No, it wouldn’t make any difference to him. His wife agreed. The younger lady and her husband both said that it would make a difference in their relationship and they would not want to be told.
Would it be fair to this couple for a person to out himself? I think not. There are things that even the best of friends don’t discuss. And you can’t unring a bell.
The late Pierre Trudeau, when Prime Minister of Canada, commented to reporters, “there’s no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation.”
When we close the bathroom door, or bedroom door, or our lips, we are not hiding behind a mask; we are just being sensitive to the feelings of others.
Some things are personal, and are no one’s business, so we can put the “What if they knew?” speculations to rest. Most people are far more concerned about their ingrown toe nail than about your aching back—or your sexual orientation.
Ralph
